Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Corrected to be a better Mom by my Daughter!!

                                                
Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior's hands. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. Psalm 127:3-5

Yes, you will not be put to shame when you are confronted by your accusers who will want to mock you because of the negative behaviour of your children.

When I was a child I didn’t enjoy good parenting because my father was never there when we needed him while my mother was busy doing her business to ensure that we have all our basic needs met but we wanted more than that! Our Emotional and Spiritual needs were not visible or important to them; they cared less about those aspects.

Casting my mind back, my father travels a lot because of the nature of his job and anytime he comes back he hardly even stays at home to find out what his children’s needs are! You can imagine where I was coming from!  Correcting us was done by our mother, I will always be grateful for her determination and courage without a supportive husband. She did her best but it would have been easier for her if she fully had the support of my father (sorry to say this but I never like remembering my childhood days at all in regard to my upbringing because it makes me feel emotional and angry with my father but I have forgiven him a long time ago and we are good friends today. He cherishes is grandchildren a lot and gives them the attention he never gave to us!) No regrets at all because those experiences helped me to be a better parent and not wanting to follow the path of my parents!

Some days ago after work I came back home and my house was in a big mess! Gush I was very angry with my children because my house was upside down (ladies you know how it is when you come back from work tired abi?). I just went straight to bring stick and I gave them a good beating and scolding (please don’t blame me I was angry but promise not to do it again). I still had to fix everything and made them do their tasks by force.

In the night when it was time for them to go to bed, my second daughter said to me; mummy why are you doing this to your children? And I politely said what? She said the way you beat us and shout at us, Jesus doesn’t like it!! Hmmmn …… I was speechless because it came to me as a surprise! Then I said Jesus doesn’t like children who spoil things in the house and don’t do their chores. I was touched because this words where coming from my six year old daughter who has labelled me a bad mom in her heart!!  It actually set me thinking about how to raise my children properly in the way that pleases God without having to spoil them!
                                               
Do you know that Christian parents face just as many obstacles as non-Christians in raising kids? When you add all the distractions and the pressures in today's world, Christian parenting becomes even more than a challenge. A huge part of that challenge is passing on your faith to kids whose priorities are more focused on video games, sporting events, and the latest trends in clothes. And let's not forget to mention peer pressure and media pressure that offers temptations to kids to do drugs, drink alcohol and get involved sexually.

Because of what my daughter said to me, I just have to change my approach by teaching them what the Bible says about correction; remind them that they are being disciplined because we love them. My husband and I spend a lot of time on them to let them know that what they have to say is important to us. Not forgetting the fact that whatever they become in life, of course, it is our responsibility!
The other day, my girls wanted new clothes to go for an Outing and I said NO! Use what you have and they were sad!! I didn’t change my mind one bit because I am preparing them for tomorrow that they don’t always get what they want!
Take a deep breath now…..yes! Then hear this now; If parent/child relationship is based on material goods, just forget it! Your child won’t have the chance to experience unconditional love.
Redefine what taking care of your children means. Are you providing for them emotionally and spiritually? You need not buy them material goods in order to create a bond. Instead of tangible gifts, how about spending some time together? Be careful that you aren't teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to Wonderland or Disney World!

If we spent equal time sitting down and talking to them about what really mattered as you do shopping, you might be able to counterbalance the countless images they see telling them otherwise.
                                                                                                
I truly desire to be a Great Mother for my kids! In future, I want them to tell me Mom, you are the BEST! Hug and kiss me and say Mom, you are my ROLE MODEL! If all these happen in some years to come, then I am fulfilled as a MOTHER!!!

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