Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a
reward from him. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a
warrior's hands. How happy is the man whose quiver is full of them! He will not
be put to shame when he confronts his accusers at the city gates. Psalm 127:3-5
Yes, you will not be put to shame when you are
confronted by your accusers who will want to mock you because of the negative
behaviour of your children.
When I was a child I didn’t enjoy good parenting
because my father was never there when we needed him while my mother was busy
doing her business to ensure that we have all our basic needs met but we wanted
more than that! Our Emotional and Spiritual needs were not visible or important
to them; they cared less about those aspects.
Casting my mind back, my father travels a lot because
of the nature of his job and anytime he comes back he hardly even stays at home
to find out what his children’s needs are! You can imagine where I was coming
from! Correcting us was done by our
mother, I will always be grateful for her determination and courage without a
supportive husband. She did her best but it would have been easier for her if
she fully had the support of my father (sorry to say this but I never like remembering
my childhood days at all in regard to my upbringing because it makes me feel
emotional and angry with my father but I have forgiven him a long time ago and we
are good friends today. He cherishes is grandchildren a lot and gives them the
attention he never gave to us!) No regrets at all because those experiences helped
me to be a better parent and not wanting to follow the path of my parents!
Some days ago after work I came back home and my
house was in a big mess! Gush I was very angry with my children because my
house was upside down (ladies you know how it is when you come back from work
tired abi?). I just went straight to bring stick and I gave them a good beating
and scolding (please don’t blame me I was angry but promise not to do it again).
I still had to fix everything and made them do their tasks by force.
In the night when it was time for them to go to
bed, my second daughter said to me; mummy why are you doing this to your
children? And I politely said what? She said the way you beat us and shout at
us, Jesus doesn’t like it!! Hmmmn …… I was speechless because it came to me as
a surprise! Then I said Jesus doesn’t like children who spoil things in the
house and don’t do their chores. I was touched because this words where coming
from my six year old daughter who has labelled me a bad mom in her heart!! It actually set me thinking about how to raise
my children properly in the way that pleases God without having to spoil them!
Do you know that Christian parents face just as many obstacles as
non-Christians in raising kids? When you add all the distractions and the
pressures in today's world, Christian parenting becomes even more than a
challenge. A huge part of that challenge is passing on your faith to kids whose
priorities are more focused on video games, sporting events, and the latest
trends in clothes. And let's not forget to mention peer pressure and media
pressure that offers temptations to kids to do drugs, drink alcohol and get
involved sexually.
Because of what my daughter said to me, I just have to change my
approach by teaching them what the Bible says about correction; remind them
that they are being disciplined because we love them. My husband and I spend a
lot of time on them to let them know that what they have to say is important to
us. Not forgetting the fact that whatever they become in life, of course, it is
our responsibility!
The other day, my girls wanted new clothes to go for an Outing
and I said NO! Use what you have and they were sad!! I didn’t change my mind
one bit because I am preparing them for tomorrow that they don’t always get
what they want!
Take a deep breath now…..yes! Then hear this now; If parent/child
relationship is based on material goods, just forget it! Your child won’t have
the chance to experience unconditional love.
Redefine
what taking care of your children means. Are you providing for them emotionally
and spiritually? You need not buy them material goods in order to create a
bond. Instead of tangible gifts, how about spending some time together? Be
careful that you aren't teaching them that emotions can be healed by a trip to
Wonderland or Disney World!
If
we spent equal time sitting down and talking to them about what really mattered
as you do shopping, you might be able to counterbalance the countless images
they see telling them otherwise.
I
truly desire to be a Great Mother for my kids! In future, I want them to tell
me Mom, you are the BEST! Hug and kiss me and say Mom, you are my ROLE MODEL!
If all these happen in some years to come, then I am fulfilled as a MOTHER!!!
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